Oh the bitter cold and copious meat products!

Oh Iowa, how you treat me so. Middle brother trying to showcase his masculinity. Youngest brother following me like I dispense cosmic brownies, which are apparently his only nourishment. Younger sister stabbing younger stabbing Youngest brother with a fork, getting called a stupid bitch by Grandfather, and then given twenty dollars for gas money. At least there is a copious amount of meat products. I swear I have eaten so many different animals here, I could have a menagerie, if they weren't in my digestive system. Deer is yummy, don't be critical!

All in all I am happy to visit this place though it is bitter sweet. I hate my aunt, but that's not her fault. I feel theatrical gay men, and sporty basketball playing lesbians will never coexist, but whatever. Saw Avatar, if I weren't a crazed liberal myself, I would just jump on all the messages in this film. And they killed Sigourney Weaver! Who kills Sigourney Weaver? Also my aunt scheduled me to fly back on January 6th. Only problem is, Jan Term starts on the 4th... Dipshit. She worked at the college for over ten years! It starts the same time, every fucking year. Now I have to the deal missing basically a week of a four week class. Bitch.

Sorry for the negativity. I just have been cramped up in this ice infested hole for too long. All of you people think you like snow, but when it sticks around for six months, you start liking perpetual rain.

I miss you guys. I just get along so much better in Mac, then here. I love my family, but you guys just understand me so much better. Margh! Hopefully Amanda will come visit me! Yeah for knowing someone in this place.

MARGH

Fucking Model.
At least one final is done. Oh I hate school.
That is all I have this moment.

I loves everyones!

Plant

So... I did something devious this week. Nothing too bad, like bank robbery or online dating, but I totally did one of two things I thought I would never do. I wasn't peer pressured, I just was interested about what I would actually be like and I was in the safest setting possible.

To make the story short, I didn't feel much different from normal. I mean, I felt more uninhibited to say things, I couldn't sing What Is This Feeling properly, and I consumed a box of mozzarella sticks, a cheeseburger, quarter of a box of kix, a gigantic wheel of shrimp, and a large bag of rolls in an hour. I may have not done it properly, but everyone said I was, so yeah. I don't know what the big deal is. And it made my feet terribly cold for hours.

I guess everything around me was a little more funny. It just wasn't that eventful. I don't get the hype.

I hope all of you won't judge. Some of you can't or you would fuzzy hypocrites ;) , but the others... It was just a spur of the moment thing.

I don't know if I would do it again. Perhaps. Perhaps not. I still don't know what the big deal is. And I want to know why it is illegal, besides the fact that it makes you idiotic? I mean I wouldn't want people to drive, but you don't have people drive when their drunk, or they get arrested, or get themselves and others killed. I do think our country is idiotic.

The Fame Monster is the Best, FYI.

My family is strange. Nothing more to that, they just are.

Hope everyone is well!

Fame Monster!

Hey Guys!
I am better! Thanks for all the reassuring comments, it really means a lot. I just had my thrice yearly week of angst, so I can be better now. (I still want to punch Matt Sunderland in the face, but that is a common thing, so yah!) Just have to spend time with the relations, which is oh joy, but yeah. It's been a good weekend just doing nothing. I mean I was suppose to do work, but I have time later this week to do it, right?

So guess what? THE FUCKING FAME MONSTER, THE BEST SECOND ALBUM OF ALL TIME, is out today. I could order it online if I had itunes money. I am going to buy it today, no matter how much I am going to get lectured by my overbearing aunt on expenses. I am currently loving four of the eight songs and two of the others are growing on me, so I think it is going to be a success.

I don't understand why I love Lady Gaga so much? I mean I have never been this excited about an artist before. Ever. I mean, I know all the The Killers and Coldplay songs by heart, and I bought their new albums. (Which I think people should buy the albums of those artists you love) But with Lady Gaga I want so much more. I want all the t-shirts. I want the collector's addition CD set. I want the lock of one of her wigs. I am fucking creepy. AND I LOVE IT! This is a wondrous obsession and I don't want to change it, I just want to know what switched inside of my head to love her. I guess it is probably a gay thing. And I finally truly understand the obsession of the old queens with Judy Garland, Cher, and all those wondrous women.

My favorite songs are Bad Romance, Alejandro, Monster, and most especially, Dance in the Dark. I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED!

I get to see my high school group this weekend. And by group I mean my two best friends from home. For some reason I had very few friends in high school, and then when I get here, I know every fucking person on campus. (ish, usually in a dorky way)

So blech, I need to sleep some before my aunt comes to get me. Or not sleep. Who knows!

Hope everyone is well!
And Alessa, I'm thankful for your flipping sexy face! Sorry, want to respond in some manner.
LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bitterness.

So I probably had the worst audition experience I have ever had. I wasn't even called back. I mean I am almost never cast in anything of worth, but I am almost always called back. That really burned. I haven't been so disappointed with an audition in my life. I wanted CB so bad. I release I probably had a bad audition, I typically do better with a second audition night, but I didn't think I did that bad. And to top it off, he got the role. The one person I didn't want to get it. Am I suppose to be happy for him? It's not like he took it away from me, but really, him?

I feel like I am always second class. The one time I thought I could get a role, I fucking failed, horribly. I spent the entire night feeling rejected and I looked back at myself, and saw all the points when I have been rejected in my life. I couldn't sleep. I haven't ever really felt like that. And the thing is, it was him who got it. I mean he gets tossed around a lot verbally, but he is allowed to do so much, not go to class, not do homework, not be a decent person, yet he still is the favorite, the one who gets the roles, the better grades, the privileges. I don't get it at all.

The worst thing about this entire situation is having to hear everyone talk about it with me around, even with them knowing my feelings about it. It was just mean.

I want someone. I am so tired of being alone. Everyone who has been in relationship has told me you don't know what your missing so your better off. Your terrible liars, you know. I obviously have never really had anyone interested in me. There is a reason that all my friends are girls, or too effeminate to date. I am fairly certain that I will remain single for the most of my life, and realizing that is sort of crushing.

Pretty much, I hate life right now. I haven't really hated life before, even after my Grandma died, I still had hope for better times. I don't have that right now. I miss her, she always so supportive, no matter, what. I knew she unconditionally loved me. I don't know that with my other relatives save for my siblings, but were just so different from each other...

I am sorry for the rant. You guys are great to me all the time. I cherish you all, and I am not talking about you.

Sorry Alessa. You did great and you deserve this. Your going to have a great time, and your going to be wondrous, I just know it. You should ignore this blog. BE HAPPY! PS. You and Jamika are saving me this semester.

Zaida- Why are you not here!? I know, it's not your choice, but god sometimes...

I don't like being sad. I usually able to shut off mind from my problems. What is wrong with me? Fucking Katie Karen.

(Lady Gaga's Fame Monster comes out next week, that is the highlight of this month by far.)

Loves, I think.

Bad Romance

Hey everybody!
Long time, no blog. I believe I missed the entire month of October. Any who it was a pretty sucky month overall so whatever.

News from the land of Steven:
- We finished our white model in Scenic Design. Pretty sure Ty hates it, but whatever, it took a good forty eight hours of my life so he can just suck it. Yeah Alessa, mid-morning nights!
- Cast my directing scene! Will Bailey and freshman, Daphne Dosset, an alliteration amiga. I don't think Will Bailey likes me very much, and he doesn't seem excited, but whatever.
- I want to fucking murder Sunderland. Not really news, but it's a bit more fiery nowadays.

So that it what is going on right this moment. I am really tired of school. Blech! It's not even the work, really. I have done everything so far and am doing well, I believe. I am just worn out for the lack of free time. And usually I am the first to admit that I spend a copious amount of time doing nothing. Not really the case right now. Guess I need to be a semi-serious layabout the be happy, no?

In better visions, The FAME MONSTER is coming out this month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so fucking excited, I can barely contain it. I love Bad Romance, especially the more and more that I listen to it. It is so god damned catchy. Lady Gaga, je t'adore. I really want the shirt, Cd deal thing, but my money is running low cause of my idiot aunt. But I want it!

Blech. I also hate relationships. People are so fucking screwy sometimes. Sorry to you all, but damn, can't you deal with your problems without causing such a ruckus and being complete dicks to each other, I mean come on. (This probably why I haven't had a relationship, nor will have one anytime soon.)

GOD!
At least I have Lady Gaga.
ra...ra....romama...ga...ga..

Ow... My eyes...

Moon Cosmic Power! Well at least in my dreams anyway. I miss Sailor Moon. My favorite is by far the short one in the right corner with the pike (Glaive). Sailor Saturn.

So Too Much Light is over, which is good and bad. I had a lot of fun, but I have am relieve to not be contained by it's clutches. This semester is going to be hard. I have always tired to make free time for myself, and luckily, I have always been able to do that. But with classes, homework, work in the costume shop, and work with the plays, I think I am going to drive myself up a wall. And I am one of the few not there already in this department. I am getting really annoyed with several different cracks of the people around me. Let's talk about some of them.

Sunderland: He is being himself. Rather self centered and dishonest with the occasional bright moments.. Which normally everyone can handle. But right now, not okay. Fucking tard. At least he has stopped talking about Garrett. That's a big plus. Everyone is just feeling what I had to feel all of last semester. The Plight of the woe begotten youth.

Caleb Jr.: Yes he exists, and he haunts our dwellings like the old. But unfortunately, he is a tad bit less intelligent and less attractive. He drives me nuts, he contradicts himself with almost every sentence, and thinks he's the shit. Yuck.

Karen 2: Okay same name, different beast. In the end, I had no problems with the first. She wasn't mean or a bitch, she was just awkward. I can accept that. But this second... Is it bad that I hated her from her first sentence? I'm racist? Really? I mean? Really? What am I, a gay Confederate?

Messages to people:

Alessa: You are confusing me. Sometimes you want to fight and other times you don't. I will support you either way, but you can't have both. I know you have been detached, but we are what we are. Don't let them bother you, it just makes them stronger. Fake it if you must, your a good actress. And sexy to boot.

Bryan: Woot on Korea. Don't stay away too long and keep blogging. PS. Your comics are silly. Shakespeare is just dirty.

Jamika: Hi. I'm wearing blue!

Zaida: I hope you get to come out. I wish you were here. This school needed you. I like your walls. And yes Lady Gaga is crazy. That is her purpose, to scare and making amazing music that I think the gays are genetically suppose to like. Just saying.

Oh, and I want a boy. I am so tired of everyone else having someone. (jealous) But I am pretty sure it is not going to happen soon. Or even in college. Besides there being no real options, I just don't look. I don't want a random hookup, that's pointless. I want that connection, I want to understand. I tired of just being the gay best friend. I mean really, that's what I am. I don't many have guy friends, and if I do they are like Sunderland or Nick. And the reason I am friends with them is because I have no attraction. (No comment about certain misguided emotions, those are long dead and destroyed) I should just join the nunnery.

Also I have touched more boobs than most people I know, who'd a thunk? The liberties of my sexuality, I guess.

Song: Not Alone, (Deadmau5 Remix ft. Molly) Markus Schulz
Color: Blue-Grey

PS. Oh and I agree with Alessa about D. He can be quite handsome. He can be a dick too. However, I am the only actor I know ever to yell back at the director during a tech and get away with it, so ya, I win!

If he is on my team, He has some issues. But I doubt it.

Time of the Essence

Well it is the nearing the end of the first week of September, and I am going nuts!

I am already swamped with more work than I ever have had in my academic career. Alessa, you and I are going to die. Zaida, I miss you terribly, but you would be about to kill something right now (aka Sunderland) so it might be a small consolation. (Bad segway, I still want you here.) Damned scenic design. Directing. Theatre business and promotions. Sound Design. Colonialism and Slavery in Latin America. WTF?

Alright none of that. BE HAPPY STEVEN MARGH!

I think the Ice Breaker is going to be hilarious. I really like a lot of the scenes. I am excited!

Musically, I really like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs new CD. It makes happy. Also Ladyhawke and the Lady Gaga remixes. Oh my Lady, so crazy, yet so delicious.

BE POSITIVE, OR ELSE.

Hitting a tree with a Wallaby, such a useless endeavor.

It's the start of semester! Now I can finally have some things to do. Wait, theatre classes will occupy all my living time? Darn it. (I love it, just like to complain)

Does everyone ever notice that we usually just talk about ourselves while sort of ignoring the fact that we all read each others blogs and converse through the strange comment section, rather just mentioning our responses in our blogs? I only thought about it when I say Zaida's and Bryan's new posts. I think I like that way better. We should do that!

TMLMTBGB Part Trois: Woot Steven is finally in a fucking play! Okay that's enough my exuberance. Some of the scenes are really funny, and it seems to be pretty well chosen. The stupid gay bashing scene is going to be hard, and I am a tad bit confused why Jill and Will chose it, but I am pleasantly surprise about the whole shebang.

The Freshman have provided little for my viewing pleasure. I am somewhat disappointed.

Bryan: I am confounded about who your talking about. I could make guess, but they would probably be wrong. Anywho, hopeful yeah about 7-11 job.

Zaida: I just want to shake your mother. I don't think that would go to well, but she really just seems like a bitch the majority of the time. Wrath! Hopefully we can get you out here, you need a break.

Alessa and Jamika: I see you everyday.

Arts and Culture

So, my current songs are tied between Head Will Role by the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs and She-Wolf by Shakira. Oh, and a Lovegame remix by Marlyn Manson, sounds cliche, but it actually really awesome.

It's a Sunday! Scenic Design is going to murder me... Loves?

Like I'm on Fire

I am epically bored right now. So I will write a blog post.

So as some of you guys know, my aunts broke up this spring. For those who hadn't, to make the story small, my aunts broke up in late April and didn't bother to tell me until mid-May, when my other aunt was preparing to move. So crappy, but in the end not much of a bother, no? Then, this July, I find out my Aunt is quitting her Linfield job and moving to Seattle to become some regional exercise equipment saleswoman. Not only does this mean that I will technically not be a Portlander any more, it also means I won't have tuition remission, which is really what is allowing me to go to college. Pretty bitchy move, I think. But whatever, consoling Steven on the move isn't necessary. It's not that I don't think my aunt shouldn't start over, and I will be able to handle the financial situation, I just wished someone had the guts to actually talk about this to me? What did they think I was going to do? I hate Lesbians. (Only the ones I'm related to, or are dating my lesbian relationships, remember gay man!)

At least I have Lady Gaga, Lily Allen, and the Ting Tings.
And awesome friends;)

Tiesto is releasing a new album and I's wants its. Damn my dance craze!

Blither and Blight!

So, let's talk some True Blood.

It has totally trapped me in its vampire grasp, I haven't been excited about a show like this in a long time. I have been going onto blogs and posts about the show for several days, and I was absolutely giddy seeing tonight's episode.

I love Anna Paquin! Sookie Stackhouse is amazing.
Also I really enjoy the Maryann plot. Michelle forbes plays such a wonderful psychotic bitch, which reminds me of her character she played in Battlestar. She is prehaps my favorite character, though seems no one else seems to like her.

I also love Tara and Lafayette. Great side characters who have their own lives beyond the Stackhouses.

And then there is Jason, played by Ryan Kwanten, of Summerland fame. Ouch.

I don't like Bill. Never have, too melodramatic. Hope Eric wins. Pam is awesome.

Sorry. Mind. Is Funky. Will add more later. Blarg.

Loves?

I Just Can't Get Enough

Howdy Dear Friends!

Guess what? I finally have a new computer! Took eight months and dish room duty, but I am the proud owner of a run of the mill hp. Her name be Kitty and she be mine. I named her kitty as it seems to be the theme this summer.

So I am living in HP E 302 now. It is rather delightful, though my roommates are bit peculiar.

So... I am getting a little annoyed with someone... It's just that we've spent the whole summer hanging out, and now that I am living so close I feel like I have had to hang out with this someone and her mate all the time. I don't mind it that much, but I feel sort of obligated now that I am living with her mate and I do live some alone time and other people. I just need more people hang out with. *cough* Jamika and Alessa *cough*. This someone can come too! I just need less hanging out with this someone and her mate... Awkward sauce...

So I have discovered the Ting Tings, little late, but still, THEY ARE FECKING AMAZING. Still need to buy that Lady Gaga shirt, but I think tomorrow is the day. I have the money, just need to go buy a visa gift card so I can purchase it off line. Cause, unlike the normal college student, I do not have a debt card. :((

Hot Vampires + Crazy Chaos Maenads + Sookie Stackhouse= True Blood Love!

Oh and you know who I loathe? Jake Masin. There I said. Will explain more. Later. Hatred Boiling over. Must listen to Gaga for joy to return.

Better.

Loves!

So... summer is coming to a close and I really just want this school year to start already... I mean there is several people I will miss terribly that are going to be gone in the next couple of days, but still I am so worn out with all this stupid animosity we have had that I just want to move into HP E and be done with it.

I know of two plays we are going to do, I guess... (If Sunderland is a reliable source. Situation says he is so okay) The Dollhouse, and a return of Too Much Light Made the Baby go blind. Sounds fun I guess...

Lady Gaga rocks my argyle socks! I can't wait for her new CD to come out; she keeps talking about it, but it probably will forever before it does come out. I cannot imagine the wonder! Also Lily Allen's "It Not Me, It's You" is probably one of the best CD's I have ever. I guess artists whose names start with "L" just float my boat.

I still need to get my Lady Gaga t-shirt... It's the only thing I need... Damn my lack of credit card!

Hope everyone is swell and having a good end to their holiday, or in some cases, not dying over their lack of job security. (loves)

Bloop!

I want summer to be over... I am just tired of working.

Zane and Chloe are here, still a bit akward, but whatever, it's fun.

I want my computer, I am just too bored....

Republicans using Lady Gaga for political messages? Really? Get Real. (Just Tax Video)

Rockband 2 Rules. No arguements.

Oh and I want to respond to comments but I am not good with this thing yet exactly, so don't worry not ignoring you.

Slayer

So, last night I stayed up until 3:30 watching the seventh season of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. I had totally forgotten how fricken amazing this show is. It makes me want to buy the seasons when I get paid in the next days.... But I don't think it's going to happen, for I have to many things I need before that.... Murgh...

All right, cause I'm bored and I am going to have a good financial return on the tenth, these are the things I want.

-A computer. (This may be the sole purchase if my other one can't be fixed anytime soon. I do need one, badly. It just ruins my other plans...)

- Lady Gaga Hoodie and/or Shirt (The Hoodie is fifty dollars, but I really want it. I am getting that shirt.)

- TAPS (ghost hunters) t-shirt (Great Show!)

- Lily Allen's The Fear album (I think this is required as well)

- Coldplay's Viva la Vida album

- Clothes, aka new shirts, shorts, pants, shoes etc. I need some new clothes! (Old Navy most likely)

-Dr. Pepper stuff (Need to retain my campus control of this brand name)

So it's a lot of random crap. But I haven't really splurged on anything lately. The last time I bought clothes was due to the fact I had only two pairs of pants that were unraveling on me, so I couldn't really exploit some of my more frivolous desires. And as a Taurus, I apparently need material goods, so I totally should get on that.

Haus of Gaga

So work sucks. An not like oh it's just really hard work. I hate a good number of the people on our crew, I'm doing like the work of four crew members, and everyone around me seems to be hooking up or in happy relationships. Poop!

This is why I listen to Lady Gaga. She is a mood raiser. She keeps my spirits up and keeps me from being downcast. I don't care if you think she is a pop clone cause she isn't. She writes her own songs, she designs the majority of her costumes and sets, she was basically was her album producer, and she all does this without any real breaks. Stop fucking bashing her. (PS No one on here does that, its just an expression of my rage.)

I really am just angry. I don't like being angry. I am a happy person. But people are driving me crazy. And damn all these cute men all around flaunting themselves.

I just want attention, god damn it.

At least I look dashing in a hairnet.

(Fucking Kangaroos)

The Drunk and Delerious

It's rather intriguing how chaotic some people get when the get intoxicated. And eventually how annoying. But overall rather amusing.

So I want to say goodbye to people, but I can never say the right thing, and since a blog is for expressing your emotion through an online source, I might as well do it here! Totally apersonal okay?

The one who wears vests and is a snarky as a fool - I am still intrigued by our friendship, not cause it doesn't make sense, it's just funny. In the good way. Your probably the best gay friend I have ever have. I mean we are totally typical queers around each other. And that is good. Your better dressed and more illustrious then I. I am still taller.

The one who gets drunk and still is glamorous(most of the time)- I wish I had known you longer. Your sort of amazing person, even though your boobs sort of scare me. Your quirky and clever in all the right ways. I am rather jealous of other people's relationships with you.

My dominate female form- I mean really, we have almost all the same interests, same idea, and sort of the same way of looking at things. We're sort of the like weird twins, only your a rather tough female with a reddish hue, and I am a dainty blue boy. I think we could have been way better friends. Time just sucks.

Okay those are the three that are going away fast that I think I will miss the most. There are others leaving at the end of the summer and next semester, but I have them for a little while, so they don't get praise, yet.

I hate change. I can never keep my connections. I know I such a communicating through a phone, but really I don't understand why everyone else doesn't try. I mean they know I often disappear into my local world. Only really my one friend from home has stayed connected. I don't want to lose people who I cherish, but everyone seems to want to lose me.

Chanson du Jour: The Fear, by Lily Allen

Personnes du Jour: Zaida cause I miss her tush, and Jamika, Jessica, and Brittney for the most awesome Carl's Jr. run ever.

Woebegotten Whores

It seems like everyone around me is dissolving into a permanent state of depression, negativity, or self hate. Some have excellent reasons, and I don't really blame them, but a lot want to pull me down with them. It's just been really hard to sympathize and help them when their not really trying to fix anything, or even trying to overcome their emotions.

I mean there are numerous people who handle their shit with poise and are trying whatever the fuck they can to escape or improve their situation. These are the people who I want care about and who I understand.

And then there are the others. I know I don't understand love or the process of relationships, but when is okay or healthy to not be able to exist beyond your relationship? How can one become so dependent on some else that they can't function or even feel positive emotions without that other person or in regards to that other person giving affection to someone else? If that is what love is, I really don't want to fall into the quagmire of emotions. (Though I think I would have trouble falling like that anyway)

I just want people to be happy. I am a happy person, I'm sorry, I just can't be fucking negative really that much. I never have been that way.

I guess I am just the yang to their yin...

At least I have dance music.

Chanson de Jour: Hide And Seek by Imogen Heap (Tiesto's In Search of Sunrise Remix)

Personne de Jour: Chloe Wandler for her generous donation to my addiction...

Show de Jour: Family Guy